Saturday, August 28, 2010 . 11:23 pm

Wow, managed to compose a worship song this week. Took me about 2 days to finish the lyrics and melodies. One of my friend suggested dat I post it on Youtube to let people comment. Lol.

It was when I was down and out dat I wrote this song, reminding me of God's love towards me even when things dosent turn out the way dat u would want. Gotten the 1.4k job dat i went for the interview for. Near my house too! Technical post, 5 and a half days week. Yipee. I was already prepared to go for the 1.3k job at Farrer Park when I got the good news this morning. Yes, thank You Lord. You saved the day. At least now i can proudly say that I had done better than I was previously.

Saw her fb, she had finally realised dat jealousy and hatred only makes things difficult. It makes her uglier, dats wad she said. Well, I thank God dat she had finally turned over a new life. A brother once told me dat when u speak into a person's life, it will really affect them somehow or rather. But be careful, if not they will fall for you especially girls. I wont want to fall into a trap again.

I'm still pondering over how do I transit from a mega church to a medium church. I chose a much smaller scale church bcos it is quite similar to my baptist program, ie, pre-marital course, old and new Testament surveys and also ministry and sports. One thing im more concerned is the cg. Going to adult service at Hope church Singapore tmr. Leaving it to God for now.

Thursday, August 19, 2010 . 6:32 pm

What a boring day it is today... Woke up at 12, idled for awhile using my com, then off to watch abit of youth olympics on tv. Rested for awhile then off to jogging for 1 hr, stamina still need to improve. But consistancy is there already.

Waiting for tmr's job interview at sentosa, hope i get the job as a train captain there. Pray pray pray.

Saturday, August 14, 2010 . 12:08 am

Just watched finished Ten Commandments just now, an old film that I dug out from my DVD lists at home. The scenes of murmurrings and not being able to trust Him enough really reflected my old self. The scene of adultery also warned me to be cautious of what I am doing in the future. This includes fornication. Lord, help me to overcome temptations.

Just blocked 2 of my friends on facebook just now. Dislike their attitudes of gossipping. 1 Tim. 6:20 says about babblings, which means foolish gossips when Timothy was taught how to handle people who are gossiping.

Next, I would like to touch on the dangers of relationships. Firstly, I would like to remind myself of not being unequally yoked with unbelievers. The word yoked includes spirituality. If you're not even in the same level of spiritual realm, dont even try to be together. Get to know the other person well enough first before committing to a rela. This is what I've learnt through the hard way, jumping and rushing into one dosent work out.

Secondly, if the person is not of the same 'frequency' as in conversational wise, then it's out. My opinion of a ideal partner. Thirdly, if you or your partner has a bad past or habit that needs to change, are u able to trust and stand by that person for a change?

Fourthly, I believe that violence in a relationship is a no-no. U need to say out the reasons why you do this and not resort to violence to solve problems. It could end up very deadly. Think about it and pray before you really commit. Whether is there peace within. Sometimes I have to be reminded of this so, dont assume that Im the perfect person that you guys portray me to be. Im afterall still a human being fallen short of God's grace and glory.

I want my future partner and marriage to work out well, I dont want to end up like my parents. Been thinking which church to home sit in lately. Hope seems like a good church to be in. With courses in place, church camp which i miss alot since i left shalom. Pre-marital course which is essential in this age group. Still have 3 more churches to attend before i decide on which one to settle down with. Fulfilling the Great Commission is a remarkable task to obey. Am i still able to attend my current church with only jurong west in place? Or am I really ready to go out and teach all nations? Am i still capable of being a good example to others after what had happenned?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010 . 4:58 am

Surprisingly, this time's trip was awesome. Firstly, met M at 11.30am Vivocity. Then took the 'Monorail' to Palawan beach. Went up to the Southern Ridges and took some photos over there, to the top of the peak.

12.45pm, went to have lunch at Koufu. Chicken rice....... Took a tram to Tanjong beach for our beach relaxation. Lol. First time taking the tram there for the both of us. Haha. Then went to soak some sea water before heading to play soccer with some boys and guys, while M was resting under the tree. Good relaxation a? Scored a goal while playing for the team. Lol. Too hot, foot cant stand the heat. So went back to join mp. Sat for awhile, listened to music and off to dreamland for awhile. Went to pray and spent time wid Him for awhile. The waves were nice and breezy.

Went out of M's sight twice while she was resting. I have no idea what was that feeling all about. If I didnt flee, I dont know what will happen next. Either I would lie down and rest longer, but felt kind of uneasy and restless. So went to pray. Coincidently, that hp of mine just went flat while I was worshipping half way. So went back to her side. Thankfully she's up and awake by then. Ate some tidbits and read a book in between. Took out some books and barang barangs. The 3rd time round lying down was much more easier, I guess maybe it's me getting not used to being so close. Oh ya, the sun was pretty hot! No wonder we got sun burnt when we were back home.

By 3.45pm, we were good to go to our next destination. Washed up and took the Island's tram to Palawan station. Then went to play the Skyride and Luge. Worth the experience. We had 2 trys. =) It was fun! First round waited for mp to catch up with me, the 2nd round, off we go speeding individually. Hehe. The camera took our pics but we didnt buy the photos, too expensive.

Then off we went to Koufu again for dinner. Ate La mian and surprisingly we managed to catch NDP 2010 'live' on television. Lol. Stayed for about an hr and caught the Parade & Ceremony segment. By then we were feeling kind of cold due to the Air-Conditioning. So we went to the Songs of the sea! Our next destination.

It was a show worth watching. Took some pictures before the show started. The pyrotechnics and musical performances were great and lively, not forgetting the lasers and water lightings.
Soon, it was an end to the whole trip. M and I took a bus back to Harbourfront instead of the 'monorail' due to the capacity crowd. Happy National Day Singapore! Enjoyed the trip. Thanks for spending the time together on this special day. =P

Sunday, August 08, 2010 . 7:47 am

I cant reckon the fact dat u're feeling touchy, here and there. It really left a scar, emotional scar. Imagine me facing the trauma of wrestling wid ur ex by him pulling on to my shirt?

Wished i could have punched him on his stomach on that fateful day. I just didnt. And u pushing me to the ground and got hit by a car??? Violence is not the way to settle pblems. U really need to stop all these and change. Fancy u calling me to apologise and dat u regretted it? Apologising to my grandpa for wad u did? I almost wanted to press charges against u but i didnt. It wouldnt be good for both parties. U have evidence against me for hitting u too. Im not the Isaac that would hit a person in public unless provoked. I dont know whether u arranged for the meet up of u meeting him first before meeting me on the 26th July. Purposefully exacting revenge by playing wid my feelings? Purposely agitating me by sitting close to him and seeing him hugging u and when my father approached h im in the hospital he said that he's just protecting a friend???????!!!!!!!! And u protecting ur friend's interest instead of asking how is my injury??????Bullshit!!! Instead it was M who asked about my injury!!!!! When I cut myself, it was M who bothered to care. What about you??? U dont even care, y shld i even have a gf who dosent even care????? So wad if u have test and exams? Have i not helped u wid ur studies? And when im tired u complained of me sleeping and not helping u wid ur revision.

Are u not thankful enough? Instead ur family blamed me for everything. Have ur sis not looked at ur behaviour? Why put the blame on me? Look at ur own siblings before pointing ur finger at others.

I hate liars!!! You're one of a kind with him. Disgusting. Fancy u kissing him and letting him touching u and advancing on ur sensitive parts??? Hello!! Wake up!!!!

It really disgust me. The fact dat u lied to ur family about me hitting u the first time and that u lied to me twice, I dont know how to believe and trust u ever again. I wouldnt even want to touch nor hold ur hands ever again. Nor would i even want a patch up even if u were to be back to sg. So what if u miss me and call my house over again and again? It just annoys me.

Every place i go these few days kept on reminding me of the time we went together. Garfield, mickey mouse, Marche @ Somerset, Bugis Iluma, Causeway point. I still have to face up to it. Never will I date a foreigner ever again. Not dat i discriminate against them, but just that im not so in to mixed dating. The culture is so different. Simple but yet hard to contemplate between present Singaporeans' mindset versus traditional Bruneian mindsets.

Been indulging myself wid activities these few days. Swimming, gym, outing wid friends and group sessions. Letting go is darn so difficult. Friend M says it takes time. Pls tell me when is the correct time dat i can totally let u go and start life without u. 3 months?

=l This rela i will never forget, short but painful for me to even bear the consequences. Never will i be so easy going in choosing a partner ever again. My standards of a gf is much more higher now. A christian girl on fire for God. Spiritually the same level and compatible as it seems.

Am gona guard my heart tightly and protect myself from harm from now on.

Friday, August 06, 2010 . 12:45 am

Aint gona happen again. Im staying firm to Your words. Left cg with a heavy heart. She's right after all. Let this be a once and for all thing. Traditional church suits me more.

More of You, and less of me. Don Moen's classics. Went to Macd for supper and then tried to read up on a book but cant really concentrate. No flow. Tmr going to watch movie wid Bao le.

Thursday, August 05, 2010 . 2:19 am

Dare not think so far away. M taking one step at a time. Y cant i just be free? I tot i can be free, but y am i worrying about other people's burdens? Am i ok?

Went to Kallang mac after prayer mtg today, cant really concentrate on reading a book though. Too noisy, but i like the ambience. Cosy for friends' meet up and have a chit chat supper. I hope this feeling is not a illusion. I dont want to mess wid person A's life. I want to be friends wid her for life. But feelings are feelings. Pray pray pray.

Tmr gona be a brand new day. Busy day wid 1 job application and a interview. Either one hope i can get in. Prayer mtg was good. Next stop, cgm tmr. Praying dat nth will happen. It just reminds me of the past incident wid 'her'. Scolding me for wad i had done wrong, it really rings a bell and it will always be a reminder for me not to make the same mistake again ever. I want this mountain out of my life! K, going to slp now. Nites bloggy.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010 . 1:21 am

It's been a painful but yet fulfilling journey. To see you transformed to be a better person is my greatest wish. For better or for worse, till death do us part. I finally understood what does the marriage vow means.

Though we can't be together as a couple, I hope that you will cherish urself even more now. You said that you wont be fooled by guys and wont get cheated by them again, I hope u know wad u are saying. These few months had been a happy and yet sad at the same time. Nevertheless I will never forget the happy moments dat we had been together. For I do really cherish the time we were together and i never regret abit of my life for loving you. Perhaps it is not God's will that we can be together, like wad my dad said, can be friends but not future wife.

Wishing you all the best in everything. I thank you for the time u helped take my belongings to the hospital and for visiting me before u go to school. You're a good girl if not for ur past, mischievous and stubborn character which i believe can be improve. The moment when i let u go, i felt more freedom and relaxed. Need not worry about u so much. You're independent enough. Hope dat we had learnt something from each other.

Festival of Praise was a fresh start for me this year. Long time friends re-kindled, new found friends and of course going back to the right track. I just realised how much a friend would care ever since we graduated. It's been awhile.

From a bubbly pretty girl, to a matured and outstanding lady I had known. The times when i encouraged her to move on wid her life after breakups in her life, now its my turn who needed help and support from her. No words could ever express this kind of friendship. Let the past be the past, lets run this race together and till the finish line. May God be with us all. Amen.

Sunday, August 01, 2010 . 4:34 pm

Justina, me and Mabel. =) National Indoor Stadium (Above)


Walkway facing Indoor Stadium


Don Moen playing the piano (Solo piece)


The packed crowd


Planet shakers perfoming Let this be the last time I fall in love again. The storms had been weathered, the conviction tested. Let this be a expensive lesson learnt. Never to fall in love again. She's happy with her life now, am glad that she is.

Seeing her smile and be happy is my greatest wish for her. I was actually quite sad when i see her feeling sad and depressed when we quarrelled. At the very least she's happy now. I can only look back with a smile. Thanks for all the time spent together which I did cherish. It is special, a meaningful courtship i ever had. Because a life is transformed. Praise the Lord! I like to see the happy and cheerful Pei Shan. Maybe a calm and peaceful life in Brunei suits her best instead of living in Singapore. It's hactic here.

Fast forward to present Festival of Praise 2010, it was worth catching the fire. M and I had a great time attending the event together with her friend. It's the 2nd time dat she attended and the first time dat her friend ever attended. Like to attend the next one in 2011 again. Missed the moments together as a small group. =)