Monday, January 31, 2011 . 11:47 pm

It only makes me upset when I look at her blog. Why should i even look at it in the first place? Decided to completely not look at it, thus the delete of my 2nd facebook account created just to look at her life.

This year is a brand new start for me. Tmr going for a general health checkup for my company. Reminded me of incidents where I accompanied someone to test for HIV screening and in the end I myself had to take it as well. Felt so foolish as to why I was so wild last year. Fancy accepting a girl when I just broke up wid an ex. Stress at work and nv had self control. Well, I could say now dat Im able to control my desires. This was an expensive lesson dat I learnt.

I'm down with flu and cough but I wont feel the need to wish for someone to say care for my well being already. Maybe Im more independent now and less reliant on others? Have come to a conclusion dat personal space is needed and dat u need to have ur own friends even though u're in a relationship. To the girl dat i once loved. Hope dat u're doing well with ur classmates. I'm moving on. Take care.

Sunday, January 23, 2011 . 12:49 am

I'm putting my trust in God once again. Believing for a breakthrough this year. When I almost lost faith, my dad played this song on a cd and it really touched my heart. 'You are my all in all'. I remembered having my first depression during my O levels.

This was the song that made me cry real hard and cry out to Jesus for a miracle. That was in 2001. Now, 10 years on. Though I have grown more mature Im still crying out to Him for a breakthrough, though not as deep and helpless as I was. That's because I have the support of my brothers and sisters in Christ, family to encourage me. I dont feel that alone anymore. Year 2011 will be a point where I put my entire focus on re-building up my career where I had left off being distracted by matters of the heart. So resolution would be to focus on my career and nothing else. Not forgetting church of course. Thank you Lans and Ben for not giving up on me.

I can feel the love of God pouring down on me again. As such, I have made a point not to sin again. Praying for a breakthrough in my career. God bless.