Saturday, December 18, 2010 . 4:19 am
What a friday. After work went back home, changed and waited for PL to do her manicure then go for dinner. 9+ plus then eat. Zzzz. Good thing stay nearby. Had beef noodle at vivo foodcourt. Then shopped awhile for christmas present but found none suitable.Was quite enthu during work. Haha, dats wad i like best. Finishing it has a thrill to it. But once im at home after 2 or 3 hrs the moody mood slipped in. Very hate this feeling. Yes I do realise that we need love. Loneliness do seep in. When im having lunch, I'm alone. Seeing workers having their meals with colleagues together really 'pinch' me. Darn, y cant i have that kind of colleagues? Unless u're a high flyer with a gd certificate, or else forget about it. I do miss her sometimes. The happy times dat she brought really made me happy. we know each other at the wrong time. Im not as optimistic as i used to be. Only goal now is to stablise my job.
2nd last ex i just a normal friend now. Though we do sms each other sometimes, but the feel is not the same as before. She is quieter than me and there's really nothing much to talk about. She's not a good chatter though. Oh well. Just a few smses asking how r u, taken ur dinner etc. As usual. Hello, there's more to talk than this. I don wana repeat the same old rela again.
A rela shld be with interesting things to talk abt within our everyday lives. Anw, sometimes i really hate my christian life. Wats the norm? To obey, bla bla bla...? Yes, so wad if i was very enthusiastic and on fire for God? I do admit that He has always been there for me. But i just hate that invisible form of His. So please send someone to talk to me!!!!! Im fed up!!!! Where is the God that I once knew?? Y must i suffer so much and yet other pple have better life than me???? Is it fair....???? Self control, finances, where are u....????